Tasty Niblett – Action

Lights, camera, ACTION!!!

Today we are going to discuss action. Not the hacking, slashing, shooting, speeding around the city kind of action. I present the following examples:

Tim sucked in air drinking it in large gulps.

Tim breathed heavily.

Tim panted with exhaustion.

Each of the sentences show action but which shows Tim exerting the most action. Which one has Tim presenting the clearest image of labored breathing? These kinds of descriptive sentences can elevate your writing from merely being read to being lived.

Your turn to practice. Write a short story based on why Tim was out of breath in the first place. Your goal here is to be descriptive, word choice matters. Finish this action scene.

Happy creating.

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4 Replies to “Tasty Niblett – Action”

  1. Thank you, Corey for the “action” verb idea. That is so cool about action verb that describes with a visual. I shall keep that in mind and apply to my writing. Drats! I am not using active verb so far. This requires a lot of thinking.

    Tim broke the surface of the water and sucked in air in large gulps. He fought to stay afloat while panted and breathed heavily. Another set of waves crashed over Tim’s head.

    Not sure if I am doing it right. This requires lots of thoughts and practices. Thank you for the tasty niblett.

    1. Your welcome. It does require some getting used to. You are on the right track keep up the good work. If you find yourself stuck looking for words, I would recommend a google search for synonyms of the word you are trying to use.

  2. Hi there Cory,

    Thank you kindly, from the bottom of my pulsating heart for this lovely lesson regarding emotive and descriptive writing, it is appreciated.

    When it comes to learning how to be descriptive in writing may I suggest to your readers to read Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Grey. The whole book not required but just the opening paragraph and how it describes the room and scenario.

    As for action, hmm, can you give a few examples of good and bad ones, to make sure I understood your point?

    1. Certainly, and thank you for recommendation.

      Let’s say the reason Tim is out of breath is because he ran fast, Tim ran fast. While it is an accurate description of action its’s boring and lacks imagery, it also begs the answering of more questions like Tim ran faster than what.

      Try this one, Tim ran as the wind. This sentence is better but but still lacks a quality image.

      Now, Tim quickened his pace with every heart beat from walk, to trot, jog, and sprint, giving into his need to outrun his past. 

      While the sentences do grow in length you begin to see that in choosing particular action words (verbs) you get a clearer picture of Tim running.

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